cindylouwho: (amy sad)
[personal profile] cindylouwho
Thanks everyone for the messages and tweets and prayers.  <3

My sister said that the colonoscopy was clean (as if you all needed to know that) and that they are waiting for liver tests as they apparently took a biopsy.  So we are just waiting on results.  Being away from home is hard right now.  It is very hard not to book the next flight home. but I am trying to remain positive, but at the first sign of something not right, I am leaving on a jet plane.

The reason (beyond the obvious) that I am really worried about this, is this is how my aunt (my mom's sister) and nana (my mom's mom) died.  Also technically how my other aunt (my mom's half sister) died as well.  Well my other aunt, Aunt Gerry died from liver cancer secondary to breast cancer- it spread when she had open heart surgery.  My aunt Judy and nana had masses in the pancreas and abdomen area.  So yeah I am worried.  They said it is most likely not pancreas, but considering my mother's track record with doctors- I tend not to believe them, considering she went years without having lupus detected.  (I know it is never lupus, but it was then and I can make all the jokes I want, she isn't bovvered LOL)

It is kind of ridiculous with all this going on, b/c considering the fact that she has THREE auto immune diseases, I do not think her doctors expected her to live this long, which is a horrid thing to say but seriously- lupus, Grave's disease, and pernicious anemia?  Seriously, who ends up with all three of those?  And up until last week she was working full time, and was a full time + grandmother to my 2 nieces.  I don't know how she does it.  My dad says that she is faking so she can stay in the hospital away from him LOL.

Anyways I am just trying to see the humour in all of this even though it isn't the least bit funny.  Add that to the fact I have three papers due in one weeks span of time over the next 20 days and I want to curl up and hide from the world.  AND my dad had the audacity to bring up DT last night and I said I was not fucking talking about it.  He seemed to find that funny.  I did not.

So tomorrow I have an appt to have my shoulder and foot looked at (finally) considering the pain in both has gotten worse.  I most likely will need physio for my shoulder, and that would be nice if it included massage or a hot bath.  I have no idea what physio includes in the UK.  I am still waiting to hear about the neuro consult.

I also have an appt with my advisor to discuss my shitty paper grades and dissertation.  Not that I know what is shitty or not.  I personally think I was marked down for things I have no control over, like turnitin apparently taking out all of my formatting.  I didn't know you HAD to use MS Word and then save as .rtf.  I use open office b/c I am poor, and I saved as a word doc and then converted to .rtf.  I also thought my writing was good, considering I had a 3.76 in my first grad program.  I do NOT think my work is C3 work, and I hope he can tell me what I can do to make it A or B work so I can get a B at minimum in research.I know other people are not happy with their grades either so......
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cindylouwho

March 2011

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