Update

Jan. 22nd, 2011 10:03 pm
cindylouwho: (belle3)
 My mom is home from the hospital.  I am sure she is excited to be home to have a big glass of Kaluah, some chips and dip, and a cig.  (even if they told her not to do any of those things I would bet 10 quid she did)

WBC= normal
colonoscopy and endoscopy= normal
brain scan= brain present and normal ( I joked they wouldn't find anything hahahahaha)
bone scan= normal

"spots" on liver= allegedly

This sounds like a job for super!oncologist Wilson.  Or super!diagnostician House.  How does one have cancer, if THEY CAN'T FIND ANYTHING?

Or they are not telling me the truth and then I will have to go home and kill them.  J/K.   

So...... I went to the GP and I was told I need (most likely, which DUH I already figured out) physio on my shoulder.  It needs work.  What it needs is a hot tub and an hour massage.  And a cortisone shot.    My foot- he said to use inserts and see.  *eyeroll*

So I am going to the physio "open" on Wednesday,  I am sure that will be fun.  Hopefully the wait won't be long.  It also has the bonus of being right around the corner.

I should be working on papers, but I'm procrastinating as usual.  
cindylouwho: (amy sad)
Thanks everyone for the messages and tweets and prayers.  <3

My sister said that the colonoscopy was clean (as if you all needed to know that) and that they are waiting for liver tests as they apparently took a biopsy.  So we are just waiting on results.  Being away from home is hard right now.  It is very hard not to book the next flight home. but I am trying to remain positive, but at the first sign of something not right, I am leaving on a jet plane.

The reason (beyond the obvious) that I am really worried about this, is this is how my aunt (my mom's sister) and nana (my mom's mom) died.  Also technically how my other aunt (my mom's half sister) died as well.  Well my other aunt, Aunt Gerry died from liver cancer secondary to breast cancer- it spread when she had open heart surgery.  My aunt Judy and nana had masses in the pancreas and abdomen area.  So yeah I am worried.  They said it is most likely not pancreas, but considering my mother's track record with doctors- I tend not to believe them, considering she went years without having lupus detected.  (I know it is never lupus, but it was then and I can make all the jokes I want, she isn't bovvered LOL)

It is kind of ridiculous with all this going on, b/c considering the fact that she has THREE auto immune diseases, I do not think her doctors expected her to live this long, which is a horrid thing to say but seriously- lupus, Grave's disease, and pernicious anemia?  Seriously, who ends up with all three of those?  And up until last week she was working full time, and was a full time + grandmother to my 2 nieces.  I don't know how she does it.  My dad says that she is faking so she can stay in the hospital away from him LOL.

Anyways I am just trying to see the humour in all of this even though it isn't the least bit funny.  Add that to the fact I have three papers due in one weeks span of time over the next 20 days and I want to curl up and hide from the world.  AND my dad had the audacity to bring up DT last night and I said I was not fucking talking about it.  He seemed to find that funny.  I did not.

blah blah blah a bit about me  )
cindylouwho: (captain jack)


I was awoken early Sunday morning by [livejournal.com profile] kyrina My firs, letting me know she had scored tickets for us to see John Barrowman in panto.  Sunday was the last day of the run, and I had wanted to go.  I didn't think it was in the cards, due to lack of funds, but she got a good deal.

Now I must admit, I know nothing about  panto.  I assumed (and you know what that does) that it was silent miming.  I have no idea where I got that idea, and how quite honestly it would work.  I was very surprised.

It was a combination of song, dance, and John Barrowman wiggling his arse about and making Captain Jack/Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Champion/Doctor Who references.  He even had a sonic screwdriver!  He reminded us to suspend disbelief as he went after the princess LOL!  He was darling and endearing and charming.

The Aladdin story was kept to (mostly) and was added to with songs by Journey and Lady Gaga.   The Krankies were amusing and funny, but I can see where they may be getting past their prime (not that I knew anything about them before yesterday).  I wish we had been allowed to take photos; it would certainly help my memory.  Perhaps [livejournal.com profile] kyrina  will do her own review at some point, and help fill in the gaps.

At the end he had a little girl brought up on stage and she became keeper of the magic lamp.  She was adorable and made me miss my niceces.

After the show, we met up with other fangirls ([livejournal.com profile] helygen , et all) to squee and I found that 3 of them were from Boston!  Crazy!  Once I have a group photo I will post it, provided I don't look too terrible!

It was a very nice day and I hope I get to see JB in something else, not to mention seeing Tennant and Tate in London this summer!
cindylouwho: (hopeless F&L)
GLASGOW PLOW YOUR FRIGGING STREETS AND GRIT YOUR SIDEWALKS!

/end rant

Now it isn't my place to tell a foreign city how to run themselves, but for the love of Rasillon, they need to do something soon before someone gets hurt.  Namely me.  I shouldn't be risking my life for some bloody crumpets.

I was walking down Byres Rd, minding my own business, drinking my latte and trying not to fall on the icy, slushy sidewalk when out of the blue a car jumps the curb and nearly runs down the pedestrians, myself included.   

I love how pretty the snow looks and all the festiveness and whatnot, but I would like to be able to enjoy it without breaking my neck.
cindylouwho: (jack/ianto2)
Yesterday was Spirit day.   For those of you who were living in an alternate universe yesterday; On October 20th we will wear purple to bring awareness to, and put an end to intolerance in honor of the 6 boys who commited suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse at home and in schools. Purple represents spirit on the Lgbtq flag and that's exactly what we would like all of you to have with you: spirit.

I've always known I was "different."  I never knew quite what it was.  Growing up in the 80s none of this was discussed, at least among my family or peer group.  I didn't even know what the word lesbian meant until I was in the 6th grade, when I was called a lesbian.  I had to go home and look it up in the dictionary.  And even then I wasn't sure what it meant.  Then again, the first time I fooled around with someone (at18) I didn't realize I was supposed to "participate," not just lay back and enjoy it.  But I digress.

I always knew I was different.  I didn't know if it was b/c my family was poorish and I didn't dress right or that I was fat or didn't have a "religion."  I always felt out of sorts and wrong.  I noticed both men and women, but never paid it any attention.  It just wasn't talked about.

I was bullied for being different.  I never knew why.  Maybe they knew when I didn't.  It was horrible.  I tried to commit suicide in 8th grade and only managed to make it through the year with the help of a supportive teacher and a few friends who were also being bullied-one for being gay.  I wasn't even entirely sure what it meant, but I knew it was wrong.  Because I knew how bad it felt.  This happened all through middle and high school and I finally came into my own in college where I met people who didn't care about your background or sexual orientation or religion.  They liked me for me.

As I went on in my life I met lots of different people who helped expand my mind and my life.  I did meet a girl in my undergrad years who I was attracted to, but I didn't really know her more than to say hello.  And then it was graduation and I was dating someone at the time..... and it just sort of faded into the background.  

Time has passed and an abusive relationship in my 20's and a lot of time being single since then let me reflect on who I am and who I want to be.  I met a few women who I was attracted to, and realized that I was bisexual- something I kind of knew all along as a child and teenager, just lacked the cognitive ability to process it, or had somehow repressed.  I have no idea.  Even while in therapy it never came up.  

So when I met [livejournal.com profile] kyrina  this summer, I finally felt comfortable enough to take the leap.  And I am thrilled that I did, as I sit here in our Glasgow flat overlooking the city- with the sun streaming in.  

So I know kids, it will get better.  I promise if you can persevere and find some supportive friends and maybe a special partner the bad times will be less what you focus on.

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cindylouwho

March 2011

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