cindylouwho: (amy sad)
Thanks everyone for the messages and tweets and prayers.  <3

My sister said that the colonoscopy was clean (as if you all needed to know that) and that they are waiting for liver tests as they apparently took a biopsy.  So we are just waiting on results.  Being away from home is hard right now.  It is very hard not to book the next flight home. but I am trying to remain positive, but at the first sign of something not right, I am leaving on a jet plane.

The reason (beyond the obvious) that I am really worried about this, is this is how my aunt (my mom's sister) and nana (my mom's mom) died.  Also technically how my other aunt (my mom's half sister) died as well.  Well my other aunt, Aunt Gerry died from liver cancer secondary to breast cancer- it spread when she had open heart surgery.  My aunt Judy and nana had masses in the pancreas and abdomen area.  So yeah I am worried.  They said it is most likely not pancreas, but considering my mother's track record with doctors- I tend not to believe them, considering she went years without having lupus detected.  (I know it is never lupus, but it was then and I can make all the jokes I want, she isn't bovvered LOL)

It is kind of ridiculous with all this going on, b/c considering the fact that she has THREE auto immune diseases, I do not think her doctors expected her to live this long, which is a horrid thing to say but seriously- lupus, Grave's disease, and pernicious anemia?  Seriously, who ends up with all three of those?  And up until last week she was working full time, and was a full time + grandmother to my 2 nieces.  I don't know how she does it.  My dad says that she is faking so she can stay in the hospital away from him LOL.

Anyways I am just trying to see the humour in all of this even though it isn't the least bit funny.  Add that to the fact I have three papers due in one weeks span of time over the next 20 days and I want to curl up and hide from the world.  AND my dad had the audacity to bring up DT last night and I said I was not fucking talking about it.  He seemed to find that funny.  I did not.

blah blah blah a bit about me  )
cindylouwho: (Default)
So as you may or may not know on Thursday I had a spinal tap.  (which btw came back fine, all the fluid and pressure tests are perfect, juts like I said they would be)  And now I am on day 4, 5? idk anymore of bedrest.  I can't sit or stand without feeling like my head is going to explode.  Right now, my head is slightly elevated so I can type, and it is teh suck.

Anyways.... so yeah I've been to the ER twice.  I was going to have a blood patch to address this headache issue, but since the LP had to be done under xray there is no way they can do the blood patch unless they do it that way..... so I have pain meds and another 2 days excused from work if need be. 

I hope this goes away soon.  I cant even do simple things like making a cup of tea without it draining me.  

Head update

Dec. 7th, 2008 08:48 pm
cindylouwho: (Default)
I forgot to post an update to the saga that is my head. Friday I went back to the pain center and met with another doctor, since the one who will be handling my case, was not there last week. She was very nice and listened to the entire story and all of the things that have been tried and done and what works and what doesn't work (since the notes from my first visit weren't there yet). I explained that the new meds had chest pain as a side effect, and I didn't think that was something I should be taking IMO. She did agree. She also gave me a small script for T3s reminding me they do not remove the cause of the headaches. AS IF I DO NOT KNOW THAT AT THIS POINT. But they take away the pain so I can function. My next appt there is on the 19th and hopefully they will have a plan or something. I'm so tired of this. It's exhausting, not to mention expensive with all these dr. visits and prescriptions.

So hopefully I will make it to the 19th without needing all of these pills or more of them. It's been an ok weekend painwise, maybe as high as a 5 at some point, but not like last Wednesday when I wanted to drill into my skull with my drill.

Head update

Dec. 4th, 2008 07:03 pm
cindylouwho: (Default)
Today I went to the ophthalmologist. It was a fiasco. I was there for 3 hours and I had to have my eyes dilated. Then they did some tests which made me very anxious and then tried to do another and I basically said stop. I was freaking out and I had already taken 2 ativan and I was feeling like I was being pushed and pressured into this machine for my head. Not fun.

The results: There is no tumor on my optic nerve or anywhere my eyes are. Everything is fine.

This is all great, but it is just another thing checked off that is all right. I wish something would just be *wrong* so it can be fixed, so maybe they will believe me when I say I'm in pain.

I have another follow up with the pain center tomorrow. I've been calling all week and today I was like listen, I've been fucking waiting for a call back and no one has done so and I'm in pain and I want someone to listen to me. So the guy arranged for me to see another dr. there tomorrow. And they better give me pain meds b/c I am rapidly approaching the end of my secret secret secret stash.


cindylouwho: (Default)

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