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cindylouwhoThank you to everyone who replied to my earlier entry. I read them all at work when I got the notifications on my BB. :) I love you all. <3
So I talked to my mom and they are going home from the ER now. My dad had bloodwork, a CAT scan, and a chest xray. They don't know what it is so he needs to see a specialist tomorrow. Preliminary ddx: infection. Backup DDX: cancer. I don't think cancer makes your neck swell up in like 6 hours so if they do find cancer it will be somewhere else since they are making him see a primary care doctor next week. I won't be surprised if it is found, nor will a diagnosis of advanced emphesema. That I diagnosed about 20 years ago and I don't even play a doctor on tv.
I expect that if it is cancer, he won't go for treatment. He saw what it did to my aunt when she had breast/liver cancer and I just don't think he would want to live like that. Especially now that my sister and her kids are at home. He saw what it put S and I and his family through when S's dad was dying of brain cancer. I don't want my last memory of my dad to be him calling me a whore.
My dad hasn't seen a doctor since I was a kid. He was really sick for a long time, puking his guts out day in and day out. Finally after like 2 years [probably less, it just seemed that in my kid mind] he went and found it was acidic stomach and gave him xantac and he was fine. Go figure.
So. Ive been forced to think lots of things I never particularly thought I would be thinking today. I'd always thought I'd be more Housian about it; I had been more Housian about it.... I mean we hadn't been particularly close since I was very young. Everything seemed to go wrong when I was older and then there were major issues when I was with S. I mean S. made him cry at Christmas dinner. It was just bad. So bad. So many things went wrong back then, most of them my fault. I mean once I knew what I knew about S. I should have run in the other direction. I was such a fool. My dad taught me better.
Well now I'm just babbling so I need to just stop for now.
So I talked to my mom and they are going home from the ER now. My dad had bloodwork, a CAT scan, and a chest xray. They don't know what it is so he needs to see a specialist tomorrow. Preliminary ddx: infection. Backup DDX: cancer. I don't think cancer makes your neck swell up in like 6 hours so if they do find cancer it will be somewhere else since they are making him see a primary care doctor next week. I won't be surprised if it is found, nor will a diagnosis of advanced emphesema. That I diagnosed about 20 years ago and I don't even play a doctor on tv.
I expect that if it is cancer, he won't go for treatment. He saw what it did to my aunt when she had breast/liver cancer and I just don't think he would want to live like that. Especially now that my sister and her kids are at home. He saw what it put S and I and his family through when S's dad was dying of brain cancer. I don't want my last memory of my dad to be him calling me a whore.
My dad hasn't seen a doctor since I was a kid. He was really sick for a long time, puking his guts out day in and day out. Finally after like 2 years [probably less, it just seemed that in my kid mind] he went and found it was acidic stomach and gave him xantac and he was fine. Go figure.
So. Ive been forced to think lots of things I never particularly thought I would be thinking today. I'd always thought I'd be more Housian about it; I had been more Housian about it.... I mean we hadn't been particularly close since I was very young. Everything seemed to go wrong when I was older and then there were major issues when I was with S. I mean S. made him cry at Christmas dinner. It was just bad. So bad. So many things went wrong back then, most of them my fault. I mean once I knew what I knew about S. I should have run in the other direction. I was such a fool. My dad taught me better.
Well now I'm just babbling so I need to just stop for now.
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Date: 2010-01-28 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 09:14 pm (UTC)I hope your dad will be OK. Infection does sound more likely than cancer.
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Date: 2010-01-29 12:48 am (UTC)Thanks <3
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Date: 2010-01-28 09:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 12:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 09:28 pm (UTC)Don't make yourself crazy, you don't know for sure what you're dealing with right now yet, okay?? It could still be something that's not cancer.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, dear - and e-mail me if you want to talk.
*more hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 12:47 am (UTC)<3 <3 <3
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Date: 2010-01-29 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 09:55 pm (UTC)<3
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Date: 2010-01-29 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 09:59 pm (UTC)My Dads legs swelled up fairly quickly like that and they found a bloodclot. I assume they checked for something like that?
In any case though I hope everything is ok! &hearts
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Date: 2010-01-29 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 07:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 06:00 pm (UTC)