cindylouwho | Video (A cracktastic fic based on 5.07 spoilers and the events of "Joy"

This idea came to me while I was waiting for the bus. If I had something to write with then, it would have been better. I had to try to remember everything I wanted to get in. Enjoy!

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Cuddy is in her office going over House’s well over budget budget, when Wilson comes in, carrying a bouquet of roses.

“Lisa, I want you to know . . . . I’ve always had feelings for you.” He drops to one knee in front of her, laying the flowers on her lap. “Please, say you feel it too.”

Cuddy sits there stunned, when House barges in, cane clanging against the door.

“Wilson what the fuck are you . . . .” House stops and looks at their faces, not believing for once what is taking place. He strides over to Wilson and shoves him out of the way. “Cuddy, ever since that one night in Michigan, all those years ago, I’ve always wanted you.” House grabs her arm and pulls her up out of her chair, the roses falling to the floor. He pulls her close, and kisses her, slipping his moist tongue in to her mouth.

Cuddy responds like she had the night before, kissing and grabbing and running, but finally pushes House away. There is only so much Vicodin taste she can stand. “What the hell has gotten into both of you? Wilson, I can understand, you eat neediness like no one’s business, and I certainly need comforting. But House, what has gotten into you? I show nearly show the girls to you on a daily basis, and now, now you think is the right time to try to get into my pants? I’m sorry, but I’m spoken for.”

House and Wilson exchange worried glances. House slaps his palm to his head. “Please tell me it’s not the PI.”

“It’s not the PI,” Cuddy replies. “It’s 13 and Cameron. Why do you think I was so desperate to adopt? It isn’t like either of them want to get knocked up and lose their figures. And besides 13 is too afraid she’ll pass on Huntington’s to the kid, and who wants that hanging over their head before they die? You know she has Huntington’s, right?”

House and Wilson exchange glances once again, for different reasons. “Video or it never happened,” House demands, slamming his cane down on Cuddy’s desk. Cuddy laughs at his display of childish emotion. “Both of you get out of here. You have clinic hours.”

As House and Wilson head out the door, shoulders touching, House obnoxiously whispers to Wilson, “Tonight can we watch the sex video you and Amber made again?”

“HOUSE!” Wilson exclaims, while rubbing the back of his neck. Yet, he doesn’t negate the statement, merely pinches House’s ass, when he thinks Cuddy isn’t watching them.

Hours later, in the on call room

Chase and Cameron are lying together in the small twin bed. “What did you do,” Chase asks her.

“I’ve got video,” Cameron smiles.

Video (A cracktastic fic based on 5.07 spoilers and the events of "Joy"

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