Melancholy Without Hope

I haven't been running in almost 2 weeks. Last week I had insomnia bad and I could hardly function never mind run. This weekend I was busy, had softball, and then Monday my stomach was upset. Yesterday my head hurt and today I said fuck it and went to the ER. I hate having to spend the money, but I needed to get SOMETHING. I was not going to make a month with no meds. So I have vicodin. Not many, but hopefully enough to get by. They told me to come back in 2 days if it isn't better. LOL. It hasn't been better in 3 YEARS!!!

I really hope that this new doctor has the answers. Or can get me to the people who can. Or gives me meds that don't suck.

No job prospects as of yet. Schools here are laying off teachers, not hiring. :(

I hope to go running tomorrow. One month until the 5k. I better get on it. I know times are tight but if anyone wants to sponsor me, it would be real, real great. I promise to do something wonderful for anyone on LJ who donates, be it a fic or something. <3

My report cards are due in a week. FML.


Otherwise, life is ok. I have friends coming in for a big gathering of Red Sox fans this weekend so it should be fun and crazy!

Had appt today.  Showed neuro that March had sucked; 4 days total I didn't have a headache.  He is now calling them "treatment resistant chronic headaches."  Lovely.

So changes are to follow:
1.  Wean off nortriptaline starting today.  50 mg per day for 1 week, then 50 every other day for 1 week.
2.  In 2 weeks start Cymbalta @ 30mg, going up to 60 if tolerated well.
3. Stop Topamax.
4.  All other meds stay the same.
5.  I also didn't get cut off, but I know he wasn't pleased.  Wants me to keep t3's to 15/month at max; which is a change from the 1 a week he wanted me at.  

Unforunately the pharmacy hasn't gotten the script via fax yet and I have to wait.  I hope I don't have to wait until tomorrow. :(

Today was my appt. with the neuro.  It actually wasn't as bad as I was thinking it was going to be.  I didn't get "lectured" so to speak and he gave me a T3 script without me having to beg ask.  (perhaps being paged "in the middle of the night" [at 7pm] didn't make him happy.)  He did note that I had gone through like 30 this month (hello I had 2 failed spinal taps and 1 one that nearly killed me for heavens sake, you should be lucky I wasn't eating them like candy.

He confirmed my spinal tap was fine.

He seems to be getting on board that this is a chronic thing that isn't being treated by conventional means.   He even told me to stop stressing about it (well I can now that I have frigging pain killers srsly)

He did make some changes to see what happens.

AM Meds: 
B2 and Magnesium
100 mg Nortriptaline (moved from evening)
 

PM Meds:
B2 and Magnesium
Metropolol
Topomax (new addition)  [off label for weight loss w00t!]

We also discussed the possibility to weaning me off the nortrip. and changing to Cymbalta.  He wants to see how this change goes first.  He also gave me a script for Lidocaine patches and gave me a bunch of samples.  I guess  I can use them on my back too when it is killing.


So it went way better than I had expected.  I go back on my half bday to see how things go.

I forgot to post an update to the saga that is my head. Friday I went back to the pain center and met with another doctor, since the one who will be handling my case, was not there last week. She was very nice and listened to the entire story and all of the things that have been tried and done and what works and what doesn't work (since the notes from my first visit weren't there yet). I explained that the new meds had chest pain as a side effect, and I didn't think that was something I should be taking IMO. She did agree. She also gave me a small script for T3s reminding me they do not remove the cause of the headaches. AS IF I DO NOT KNOW THAT AT THIS POINT. But they take away the pain so I can function. My next appt there is on the 19th and hopefully they will have a plan or something. I'm so tired of this. It's exhausting, not to mention expensive with all these dr. visits and prescriptions.

So hopefully I will make it to the 19th without needing all of these pills or more of them. It's been an ok weekend painwise, maybe as high as a 5 at some point, but not like last Wednesday when I wanted to drill into my skull with my drill.