I know....
Dec. 16th, 2010 03:17 pm![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cindylouwhoI'm feeling a bit emotional and stressed and overwhelmed right now. And I just want to take a moment here and say a few things.
-that I can be a shit friend
-that I over react when I shouldn't and say things out of anger
-that I can get too emotional
-that I shouldn't make my issues the world's
-that I am scared sometimes
-that when I get stressed I clean like crazy and procrastinate
-and that I drive people up the wall
-that I am a drama queen
-that I have to try harder
-that I whinea bit too much
-that I truly, truly not selfish, even if it comes across that way
What I also know
-is that I really think I am good person
-I am genuine
-I try to be honest
-I try really, really hard
-I want the people I care about to be happy
What I also think is that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way; I'm sure some of you out there may have felt like that too. I'm not perfect. I'm far from it.; but even if you only know me online, that is far from all it is being who I really am. And maybe I go on and on and whine and complain - but I am not the only one.
I'm still trying to find my place in the world, even though I'm 35. I have no idea what is going to happen a year from now. If you had told me I would be in Scotland, I would have laughed at you. But here I am. And whether or not I am here next year or back home, alone or with someone...... I just want everyone to know I am trying. I am trying so hard to be a good person and trying so hard to find my way. I hope everyone realizes that, even if it isn't today.
-that I can be a shit friend
-that I over react when I shouldn't and say things out of anger
-that I can get too emotional
-that I shouldn't make my issues the world's
-that I am scared sometimes
-that when I get stressed I clean like crazy and procrastinate
-and that I drive people up the wall
-that I am a drama queen
-that I have to try harder
-that I whine
-that I truly, truly not selfish, even if it comes across that way
What I also know
-is that I really think I am good person
-I am genuine
-I try to be honest
-I try really, really hard
-I want the people I care about to be happy
What I also think is that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way; I'm sure some of you out there may have felt like that too. I'm not perfect. I'm far from it.; but even if you only know me online, that is far from all it is being who I really am. And maybe I go on and on and whine and complain - but I am not the only one.
I'm still trying to find my place in the world, even though I'm 35. I have no idea what is going to happen a year from now. If you had told me I would be in Scotland, I would have laughed at you. But here I am. And whether or not I am here next year or back home, alone or with someone...... I just want everyone to know I am trying. I am trying so hard to be a good person and trying so hard to find my way. I hope everyone realizes that, even if it isn't today.
