Jan. 22nd, 2011 10:03 pm
cindylouwho: (belle3)
 My mom is home from the hospital.  I am sure she is excited to be home to have a big glass of Kaluah, some chips and dip, and a cig.  (even if they told her not to do any of those things I would bet 10 quid she did)

WBC= normal
colonoscopy and endoscopy= normal
brain scan= brain present and normal ( I joked they wouldn't find anything hahahahaha)
bone scan= normal

"spots" on liver= allegedly

This sounds like a job for super!oncologist Wilson.  Or super!diagnostician House.  How does one have cancer, if THEY CAN'T FIND ANYTHING?

Or they are not telling me the truth and then I will have to go home and kill them.  J/K.   

So...... I went to the GP and I was told I need (most likely, which DUH I already figured out) physio on my shoulder.  It needs work.  What it needs is a hot tub and an hour massage.  And a cortisone shot.    My foot- he said to use inserts and see.  *eyeroll*

So I am going to the physio "open" on Wednesday,  I am sure that will be fun.  Hopefully the wait won't be long.  It also has the bonus of being right around the corner.

I should be working on papers, but I'm procrastinating as usual.  
cindylouwho: (amy sad)
Thanks everyone for the messages and tweets and prayers.  <3

My sister said that the colonoscopy was clean (as if you all needed to know that) and that they are waiting for liver tests as they apparently took a biopsy.  So we are just waiting on results.  Being away from home is hard right now.  It is very hard not to book the next flight home. but I am trying to remain positive, but at the first sign of something not right, I am leaving on a jet plane.

The reason (beyond the obvious) that I am really worried about this, is this is how my aunt (my mom's sister) and nana (my mom's mom) died.  Also technically how my other aunt (my mom's half sister) died as well.  Well my other aunt, Aunt Gerry died from liver cancer secondary to breast cancer- it spread when she had open heart surgery.  My aunt Judy and nana had masses in the pancreas and abdomen area.  So yeah I am worried.  They said it is most likely not pancreas, but considering my mother's track record with doctors- I tend not to believe them, considering she went years without having lupus detected.  (I know it is never lupus, but it was then and I can make all the jokes I want, she isn't bovvered LOL)

It is kind of ridiculous with all this going on, b/c considering the fact that she has THREE auto immune diseases, I do not think her doctors expected her to live this long, which is a horrid thing to say but seriously- lupus, Grave's disease, and pernicious anemia?  Seriously, who ends up with all three of those?  And up until last week she was working full time, and was a full time + grandmother to my 2 nieces.  I don't know how she does it.  My dad says that she is faking so she can stay in the hospital away from him LOL.

Anyways I am just trying to see the humour in all of this even though it isn't the least bit funny.  Add that to the fact I have three papers due in one weeks span of time over the next 20 days and I want to curl up and hide from the world.  AND my dad had the audacity to bring up DT last night and I said I was not fucking talking about it.  He seemed to find that funny.  I did not.

blah blah blah a bit about me  )


Jan. 17th, 2011 09:57 pm
cindylouwho: (rose 10 doomsday)

My mom has cancer.

I don't really know more than that.  The doctors are still trying to find out exactly where.

I am not handling this well.  When my sister called and she put her on, I totally lost it.

I just don't even know how to deal.

So, if you don't see me online or posting for a few days, I just need some time to get a grip on reality.

Thank you in advance. <3 xxx


Jan. 28th, 2010 04:06 pm
cindylouwho: (cameron)
Thank you to everyone who replied to my earlier entry.  I read them all at work when I got the notifications on my BB.  :)  I love you all.  <3

So I talked to my mom and they are going home from the ER now.  My dad had bloodwork, a CAT scan, and a chest xray.  They don't know what it is so he needs to see a specialist tomorrow.  Preliminary ddx: infection.  Backup DDX: cancer.  I don't think cancer makes your neck swell up in like 6 hours so if they do find cancer it will be somewhere else since they are making him see a primary care doctor next week.  I won't be surprised if it is found, nor will a diagnosis of advanced emphesema.  That I diagnosed about 20 years ago and I don't even play a doctor on tv.  

I expect that if it is cancer, he won't go for treatment.  He saw what it did to my aunt when she had breast/liver cancer and I just don't think he would want to live like that.  Especially now that my sister and her kids are at home.  He saw what it put S and I and his family through when S's dad was dying of brain cancer.  I don't want my last memory of my dad to be him calling me a whore.  

My dad hasn't seen a doctor since I was a kid.  He was really sick for a long time, puking his guts out day in and day out.  Finally after like 2 years [probably less, it just seemed that in my kid mind] he went and found it was acidic stomach and gave him xantac and he was fine.  Go figure.

So.  Ive been forced to think lots of things I never particularly thought I would be thinking today.  I'd always thought I'd be more Housian about it; I had been more Housian about it.... I mean we hadn't been particularly close since I was very young.  Everything seemed to go wrong when I was older and then there were major issues when I was with S.  I mean S. made him cry at Christmas dinner.  It was just bad.  So bad.  So many things went wrong back then, most of them my fault.  I mean once I knew what I knew about S. I should have run in the other direction.  I was such a fool.  My dad taught me better.

Well now I'm just babbling so I need to just stop for now. 
cindylouwho: (Default)
From my students:
B&N gift card
2 DD gift cards
mug and mug warmer
candy and cookies

From my <3 friends
Loch Ness Moster for my desk
Bath and Body works set and tissues (OK KIT, HAPPY NOW????)
House 2009 calendar
many lovely cards

From my family:
750 thread count sheet set
new hair dryer
3 books by SF
Jeeves and Wooster box set
digital camera
2 Twilight books
Maybe Baby
Mary Kay lotions
VS set in "Amber Romance"  (I fucking cracked up at how I ended up with this one accidentally)
pajama/sweat pants
2 Old Navy gift cards
DD gift card
Target gift card

I'm going to curl up and watch Jeeves and Wooster.  :)


cindylouwho: (Default)

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