cindylouwho: (jack/ianto2)
Yesterday was Spirit day.   For those of you who were living in an alternate universe yesterday; On October 20th we will wear purple to bring awareness to, and put an end to intolerance in honor of the 6 boys who commited suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse at home and in schools. Purple represents spirit on the Lgbtq flag and that's exactly what we would like all of you to have with you: spirit.

I've always known I was "different."  I never knew quite what it was.  Growing up in the 80s none of this was discussed, at least among my family or peer group.  I didn't even know what the word lesbian meant until I was in the 6th grade, when I was called a lesbian.  I had to go home and look it up in the dictionary.  And even then I wasn't sure what it meant.  Then again, the first time I fooled around with someone (at18) I didn't realize I was supposed to "participate," not just lay back and enjoy it.  But I digress.

I always knew I was different.  I didn't know if it was b/c my family was poorish and I didn't dress right or that I was fat or didn't have a "religion."  I always felt out of sorts and wrong.  I noticed both men and women, but never paid it any attention.  It just wasn't talked about.

I was bullied for being different.  I never knew why.  Maybe they knew when I didn't.  It was horrible.  I tried to commit suicide in 8th grade and only managed to make it through the year with the help of a supportive teacher and a few friends who were also being bullied-one for being gay.  I wasn't even entirely sure what it meant, but I knew it was wrong.  Because I knew how bad it felt.  This happened all through middle and high school and I finally came into my own in college where I met people who didn't care about your background or sexual orientation or religion.  They liked me for me.

As I went on in my life I met lots of different people who helped expand my mind and my life.  I did meet a girl in my undergrad years who I was attracted to, but I didn't really know her more than to say hello.  And then it was graduation and I was dating someone at the time..... and it just sort of faded into the background.  

Time has passed and an abusive relationship in my 20's and a lot of time being single since then let me reflect on who I am and who I want to be.  I met a few women who I was attracted to, and realized that I was bisexual- something I kind of knew all along as a child and teenager, just lacked the cognitive ability to process it, or had somehow repressed.  I have no idea.  Even while in therapy it never came up.  

So when I met [ profile] kyrina  this summer, I finally felt comfortable enough to take the leap.  And I am thrilled that I did, as I sit here in our Glasgow flat overlooking the city- with the sun streaming in.  

So I know kids, it will get better.  I promise if you can persevere and find some supportive friends and maybe a special partner the bad times will be less what you focus on.
cindylouwho: (madeyouacookie)
I got home from my errands/massage/chiro appts to find a box addressed to me in my door!  It's from [ profile] 2801rosie  and is a box of salt water taffy! 

Thank you so much!

nom nom nom

*makes sure she reads the little card inside as to NOT eat the peanut butter ones LOL*


Aug. 5th, 2009 09:35 pm
cindylouwho: (rascal2)
Thank you phinnia for the card and paper.  Getting things in the mail makes me so :) :) :) and it made my day.
cindylouwho: (Default)
I stole this from [profile] jane_hidell 

What are your current obsessions?

sleeping, House and Wilson, reading, iced coffee, Torchwood, finding a job

Have you ever lied to a teacher?
yes.  I lied about being depressed over my aunt dying in 10th grade to get out of doing work

What kind of book would you describe as a good read?
real life stuff

What's your occupation?
I'm an unemployed teacher

What stereotype are you?
girly girl, even if I don't come off that way.  Probably high maintenance LOL

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
House, duh

What are you listening to right now?
the a/c.  Britney (thanks Jane!), Nightwish, Death Cab for Cutie, Dead Can Dance

What food could you eat every day for weeks and not get sick of?
bread and cheese

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
1. lj
2. facebook
3. surviving grady

What are you going to do next year?
hopefully have a great teaching job

What was the cutest thing you've seen today?
[ profile] bonorattle  posted pics of her kids :)

Does the weather affect your mood?
yes this humidity can fucking suck it

What is your zodiac sign?

Do you want to learn another language?
Spanish and get back into French and German

Five things you can't live without.
Rascal, the internet, my laptop, lip balm, water

If you could meet anyone now, who would you meet?
HL, SF, RSL same old same old

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?

I want to thank everyone who has listened/commented/offered advice over my headaches and job and whatnot recently.  It means a lot.  <3

What are you looking forward to?
sleeping would be nice, not having this headache, getting a job

Say something to the person who tagged you.
Well Jane didn't tag me but she is awesome and makes cool stuff like funky fabricy Wilson's <3

Tagging: [ profile] arhh , [personal profile] bishojo_kitsune , [ profile] lauriestein ,[ profile] causticchick , [ profile] phinnia <3 <3 <3 IDK who ever wants to LMAO
cindylouwho: (bravo)
This weekend was insanely busy, which is so unlike me.

Yesterday I watched the Red Sox game with my friend Kelly and then we attended the Lowell Spinners game with a bunch of friends. Both teams lost, but we had a good time anyways.  After we went back to Beer Works and hung out before heading home.

Lowell Pics:

Today, Kelly and I headed to Pawtucket.  It  was a perfect day for a game; about 80, blue skies, and puffy clouds.  We checked out the stadium when we got there since I had never been there before, and then went to watch the pitchers throw.

read less, more tv )
cindylouwho: (i is smart)



cindylouwho: (piano)
01. Your Middle Name:
02. Age:
03. Single or Taken:
04. Favorite Movie:
05. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
07. Dirty or Clean:
08. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
09. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
cindylouwho: (Default)
I haven't been running in almost 2 weeks. Last week I had insomnia bad and I could hardly function never mind run. This weekend I was busy, had softball, and then Monday my stomach was upset. Yesterday my head hurt and today I said fuck it and went to the ER. I hate having to spend the money, but I needed to get SOMETHING. I was not going to make a month with no meds. So I have vicodin. Not many, but hopefully enough to get by. They told me to come back in 2 days if it isn't better. LOL. It hasn't been better in 3 YEARS!!!

I really hope that this new doctor has the answers. Or can get me to the people who can. Or gives me meds that don't suck.

No job prospects as of yet. Schools here are laying off teachers, not hiring. :(

I hope to go running tomorrow. One month until the 5k. I better get on it. I know times are tight but if anyone wants to sponsor me, it would be real, real great. I promise to do something wonderful for anyone on LJ who donates, be it a fic or something. <3

My report cards are due in a week. FML.

Otherwise, life is ok. I have friends coming in for a big gathering of Red Sox fans this weekend so it should be fun and crazy!
cindylouwho: (Default)
No cookies eaten this week. Plenty of workouts however. I did eat a lovely strawberry kickass cupcakes last night.
It was so worth it.

4/20 5k distance run
4/21 elliptical 40 mins
4/22 a little walking around
4/24 30 min walk to dr and then 20 min run back home

Thanks [ profile] causticchick for the button.
cindylouwho: (Default)
stolen from [ profile] bonorattle 

Ask me ANYTHING. Absolutely anything, and I'll answer it. From which are my most favorite pair of shoes, to where I had my first kiss.

Repost in your journal, so I can ask you!

<3 <3 <3

Feb. 6th, 2009 04:11 pm
cindylouwho: (Default)
Thank you [ profile] phinnia !  She so kindly sent me truckloads of OTC meds to take just to annoy my neuro.  :)




Jan. 10th, 2009 12:56 am
cindylouwho: (Default)
I'm such a dork.

cindylouwho: (Default)
From my students:
B&N gift card
2 DD gift cards
mug and mug warmer
candy and cookies

From my <3 friends
Loch Ness Moster for my desk
Bath and Body works set and tissues (OK KIT, HAPPY NOW????)
House 2009 calendar
many lovely cards

From my family:
750 thread count sheet set
new hair dryer
3 books by SF
Jeeves and Wooster box set
digital camera
2 Twilight books
Maybe Baby
Mary Kay lotions
VS set in "Amber Romance"  (I fucking cracked up at how I ended up with this one accidentally)
pajama/sweat pants
2 Old Navy gift cards
DD gift card
Target gift card

I'm going to curl up and watch Jeeves and Wooster.  :)

cindylouwho: (Default)
Thank you so much for the lovely (and LOL) gift [personal profile] bishojo_kitsune 

ILU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  <3 <3 <3 <3

Merry Christmas Kit!


Dec. 17th, 2008 04:18 pm
cindylouwho: (Default)

<3 <3 <3

cindylouwho: (Default)
I just wanted to thank [ profile] oncolgist , [ profile] causticchick , [ profile] 2801rosie , and [ profile] savemoony  for their Christmas cards and gifts.  :)  I'm sorry I didn't do a public thanking before, but this never ending illness seems to have caused me to lose some brain cells. 

Thank you!  <3 <3 <3

cindylouwho: (Default)


Oct. 8th, 2008 09:36 pm
cindylouwho: (Default)
My internet and real life friends are great. I've had so many well wishes and lovely cards and virtual hugs and well wishes and fics today. Thank you all so much. :) <3

And b/c this was on tonight . . . . <3

(created by [ profile] cryptictac )
cindylouwho: (Default)


cindylouwho: (Default)

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