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cindylouwhoThank you to everyone who replied to my earlier entry. I read them all at work when I got the notifications on my BB. :) I love you all. <3
So I talked to my mom and they are going home from the ER now. My dad had bloodwork, a CAT scan, and a chest xray. They don't know what it is so he needs to see a specialist tomorrow. Preliminary ddx: infection. Backup DDX: cancer. I don't think cancer makes your neck swell up in like 6 hours so if they do find cancer it will be somewhere else since they are making him see a primary care doctor next week. I won't be surprised if it is found, nor will a diagnosis of advanced emphesema. That I diagnosed about 20 years ago and I don't even play a doctor on tv.
I expect that if it is cancer, he won't go for treatment. He saw what it did to my aunt when she had breast/liver cancer and I just don't think he would want to live like that. Especially now that my sister and her kids are at home. He saw what it put S and I and his family through when S's dad was dying of brain cancer. I don't want my last memory of my dad to be him calling me a whore.
My dad hasn't seen a doctor since I was a kid. He was really sick for a long time, puking his guts out day in and day out. Finally after like 2 years [probably less, it just seemed that in my kid mind] he went and found it was acidic stomach and gave him xantac and he was fine. Go figure.
So. Ive been forced to think lots of things I never particularly thought I would be thinking today. I'd always thought I'd be more Housian about it; I had been more Housian about it.... I mean we hadn't been particularly close since I was very young. Everything seemed to go wrong when I was older and then there were major issues when I was with S. I mean S. made him cry at Christmas dinner. It was just bad. So bad. So many things went wrong back then, most of them my fault. I mean once I knew what I knew about S. I should have run in the other direction. I was such a fool. My dad taught me better.
Well now I'm just babbling so I need to just stop for now.
So I talked to my mom and they are going home from the ER now. My dad had bloodwork, a CAT scan, and a chest xray. They don't know what it is so he needs to see a specialist tomorrow. Preliminary ddx: infection. Backup DDX: cancer. I don't think cancer makes your neck swell up in like 6 hours so if they do find cancer it will be somewhere else since they are making him see a primary care doctor next week. I won't be surprised if it is found, nor will a diagnosis of advanced emphesema. That I diagnosed about 20 years ago and I don't even play a doctor on tv.
I expect that if it is cancer, he won't go for treatment. He saw what it did to my aunt when she had breast/liver cancer and I just don't think he would want to live like that. Especially now that my sister and her kids are at home. He saw what it put S and I and his family through when S's dad was dying of brain cancer. I don't want my last memory of my dad to be him calling me a whore.
My dad hasn't seen a doctor since I was a kid. He was really sick for a long time, puking his guts out day in and day out. Finally after like 2 years [probably less, it just seemed that in my kid mind] he went and found it was acidic stomach and gave him xantac and he was fine. Go figure.
So. Ive been forced to think lots of things I never particularly thought I would be thinking today. I'd always thought I'd be more Housian about it; I had been more Housian about it.... I mean we hadn't been particularly close since I was very young. Everything seemed to go wrong when I was older and then there were major issues when I was with S. I mean S. made him cry at Christmas dinner. It was just bad. So bad. So many things went wrong back then, most of them my fault. I mean once I knew what I knew about S. I should have run in the other direction. I was such a fool. My dad taught me better.
Well now I'm just babbling so I need to just stop for now.
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 09:59 pm (UTC)My Dads legs swelled up fairly quickly like that and they found a bloodclot. I assume they checked for something like that?
In any case though I hope everything is ok! &hearts
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Date: 2010-01-29 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 12:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 01:10 am (UTC)