Deja vu

[cindylouwho]

I lost my job again.

It happened the same time last year, right before the House finale.

I feel like such a failure. Apparently I suck as a teacher, failed to keep the kids safe, didn't keep the room up to date with their work, or do 1000 other different things.

I have to finish out the year once again, in a place that doesn't want me.

I have no idea what I am going to do in the future. I have no skills other than teaching; I haven't even come remotely close to paying off my loans.

I'm terrified, depressed, and I just have no idea what I am going to do now.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

You are NOT a failure. You just haven't found the place that's the right fit for you yet. It will happen.

Remember people (like me!) love you. If I can do anything to help I surely will.

Cyn

[arhh.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* Perhaps you just haven't found the right fit of school to teach in. I have no doubts in your teaching abilities or your love for your students.

As for your loans, you can get deferments, so don't stress too much about those at this point.

Just take a step back and think about things, look for other schools even just look for work you wouldn't mind doing to pay the bills even if it has nothing to do with teaching. You have a degree, lots of places just are interested in that, they don't necessarily care what it is in.

*hugs*

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

<3

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Oh honey, I'm sorry. :-(

Apparently I suck as a teacher, failed to keep the kids safe, didn't keep the room up to date with their work, or do 1000 other different things.

I know it's hard to be objective right now, but--are these their words, or yours? What did they actually say was the reason, and is it something that can be worked on? It may be too late for this position, but not for the next one.

(((hugs)))

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

All of that was direct from the letter.

It was a culmination of all of those things, along with how I teach, my non mastery of the material, how I don't do extra "project things," etc.

I just don't think I can go through this again.

[magie-05.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie, I'm so so sorry to hear that, but it does not make you a failure. Like others have said, you just need to find the right fit for you and it is out there. ♥ Wish I could help (more than just sending out good thoughts for you) but I'm here if you wanna talk.

♥♥♥

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

It is just so hard. This is the third time this has happened to me. I just dont understand why I can't have a job like a normal person and be ok.

[magie-05.livejournal.com]

I know it's hard, but this kind of thing happens to lots of people. It's not exactly the same thing, but I must have 'quit' school three or four times because I just can't cut it - but one thing I've come to accept lately is that your job is not you. I guess you just have to keep looking until you find something you can be content with, but even then, your job doesn't have to define you. I mean, I work at an ice rink and I know absolutely nothing about sports, could care less about it really - but I've been there almost eight years and am doing great. You just never know where you're going to find your niche but you will find it. What about some kind of office-type work? It's not really the same as teaching, but you could work up to a point where you could be doing seminars and stuff - I mean, you seriously never know. And arhh's right; you have a degree, which gives you a huge edge over people like me.

Anyway. I'm not great at the advice but am totally here if you want a good listener ♥

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3

[chippers87.livejournal.com]

As I said on Twitter, you are not a failure and you will find your niche soon. Have you looked into the non-profit sector? Maybe your skills as a teacher could lend to a job as a community liaison or something like that.

You can make this work. I have faith in you, and your friends will support you all the way.

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Thanks. <3 It is just so hard not to feel like a failure since this keeps happening to me.

[bishojo-kitsune.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3

[travln1.livejournal.com]

You are most definitely NOT a failure. Don't think that way. I have a teaching degree and an English degree. I've taken the last several years off for personal reasons, and am now looking at getting back into the work force. My teaching degree has expired and I've decided not to renew. I have no idea what I'm going to do or where to go, and I also wonder why I can't just have a normal job like everyone else. I'm going to submit my application to a local referral service for a desk job somewhere. Ho hum.

If teaching is what you want...you just need to find a place that fits you. I've worked at three schools, and I know that two of those schools were not "me". The third one was and it felt like home. Maybe you just haven't found "home" yet.

Good luck to you. Trust that you are not a failure. Don't think that way. There may be extenuating circumstances that you aren't aware of (budget stuff) and they may have needed to cut back and used any excuse to do it.

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Thanks <3

It is just so hard to go through this a second time in a year.

I'm not sure about staying in teaching at this point. I don't know if I can go through something like this again, and I am not sure my recommendations (what few I have) are good enough to get a job in a tough economy.

[travln1.livejournal.com]

That's where I stand, too. My references are very outdated and I didn't get a fresh set from my last job (basically because I told my principal to shove it and that doesn't exactly leave him in the best of moods).

Have you considered a desk job? That's where I'm headed. I can type, I can answer phones and I'm willing to take computer classes if need be. Not great, but it's better than nothing at this point.

Well, and your other option really, is to substitute. Work in the schools, get to know the staff and sometimes that leads to a placement, especially if you're there at the start of the school year when things aren't always settled. You may find a place you really want to be at, and even if not, you can request recommendations from the teachers/principals you work for, particularly if you take a long term sub position.

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

I worked in IT for 6 years before I went back to school to get my teaching license. I think it's what I am going to end up going back to, some kind of desk job b/c my heart can't take this, and it hurts the kids just as much.......

[boffleb.livejournal.com]

Sorry this happened. *hugs* But since you see a pattern, maybe it would be a good idea to explore that insight by thinking it through with a job counselor or life coach. Also, all the skills you have as a teacher are easily transferable to other like professions should you choose something else. And I'm sure you have other skills and abilities you just haven't developed yet. So there's lots of possibilities that are hard to see right now, but you could start seeing them soon. Good luck!

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

<3

Thanks for your insight. Those are good ideas!

[cineophilia.livejournal.com]

It's true. Teaching prepares you for millions of careers. And there are ways to teach without having a formal teaching job.

I'm sorry. Teachers are the most unappreciated professionals, I think. The thing keeping me from being a teacher is the fear of dealing with administration and parents, because judgy mcjudge much?

You'll do awesome in getting through this.

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[taiga13.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry, love, and can only echo what boffleb said so well. Believe me, I've been there. You're smart and skilled and willing to work hard so you will get through this!

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Thank you <3

[2801rosie.livejournal.com]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
I'm so sorry to hear this. All I can say is you are NOT a failure. I know it is hard but try not to let it bring you down. I agree with arhh and magie_05. There are lots of things you can do with that degree you have. Finish the year out, collect unemployment, or partial if you work part time at another job, and think about what you want to do. Would you leave your area. Go where a job takes you.
Good Luck and if there is anything I can do just ask.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Thanks <3

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

oh sweetheart. *hughughughughug*

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3 *hugs*

[jane-hidell.livejournal.com]

God, I'm sorry. D: <3<3<3

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Thanks Jane <3

[primarycolors92.livejournal.com]

I don't know you, but I saw this and just wanted to say that my dad is losing his job for the second time in two years. He has to stay on to finish up some projects, so he's still working there, but he knows he's got two, three months top.

So you're not alone, and I wish you lots of good luck!

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[lana-ftw.livejournal.com]

Damn. I'm sorry :[

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3

[sodiumbisulfite.livejournal.com]

&hearts&hearts

Cindy, I am so so sorry. But you are not a failure (as everyone above me has also pointed out) I understand what it's like to feel that way though, believe you me. But the only thing any of us can ever do is keep pushing forward and believe in the fact that ONE day all of the bullshit and all of the set backs will be worth it. It just makes us all the more stronger than people who get lucky right off the bat. Dont look at this as a failure, look at it as an experience and learn from it, and things will be okay.

You could always get certified and teach somewhere else, right? Come to NY. We would love to have you &hearts

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

I just wish I could catch a break. I thought everything was finally going right. It just sucks.

Thanks <3